I met Olivia Wilde and I had an unusual first date four months ago – I actually met her at her home. As usual, names have been changed to protect the naughty ones! I’m not naughty, as far as you know! It was a nice date and the goodnight kiss was promising.
However, following that first date, conversation dwindled. She refused a telephone call from me, and I never saw her again. Yet, because of the friendship chemistry we seemed to have, I continued to text her from time-to-time, and she wrote some very nice words about a sick family member, even offering to go out of her way to help. She seemed to be very giving, and despite a few random invitations for subsequent dates, she seemed disinterested. Since we were just pen-pals, I continued to date other women, such as Joy Behar. People come into your life for various reasons, and not all are a romantic match. Some are destined to simply be friends, and I had accepted that this was the way it would be forever between my beautiful Olivia and I.
As the months went by, Olivia’s secret was revealed to me; the reason we were just friends rather than lovers. The last two years were rough on her. Olivia lost a sibling she was caring for (Olivia was once a nurse), and the most disturbing thing I discovered – her ex husband was more than just a control freak, he was a wife-beater. I have no sympathy for abusers.
Whomever hits a woman (or anybody) out of anger should be thrown in jail and the key to the jail cell should be thrown away. There is no excuse for hitting a spouse, even in self-defense. Certainly there was arguing before things escalated to abusive behavior. It should have been nipped in the bud at that point, people need to practice self-control and learn how to negotiate with their spouse fairly and reasonably. Also, Olivia should have used her intuition to read her ex more carefully when she first started dating him; if she were using her intuition (sometimes called radar, gut feelings, reading a person) and paying attention, she could have seen this coming down the road. Sometimes victims are really just volunteers.
Violent arguments should not be happening to begin with, it’s not healthy. The best couples have less than a handful of arguments per year and actually talk things out, make concessions, and get along well because they are easy to get along with. The good catches know that relationships are give-and-take, and that a romantic relationship has friendship at the core. A relationship is a friendship on fire.
If an argument gets heated, people should take a timeout and get away from each other for a period of time. Go shopping, go out, or stay in a hotel or with friends or family members until emotions cool down. Cool your jets, hotshot, and play nice.
One day, I texted Olivia and told her that a family member had just been admitted to the hospital. I was very surprised when Olivia called me on the telephone to console me. We had a wonderful, funny, and fun conversation and talked about a lot of things. It was wonderful hearing Olivia’s jokes and her sexy voice again.
Most notable, she explained that the state of our pen-pal relationship was due to her not being ready, and she claimed that now, she was ready! Apparently, Olivia seemed to feel she was getting over her emotional baggage. Everyone has baggage, and some have too much. Olivia claimed she had a good childhood, which is a good sign – that could suggest little or no permanent damage. Could the traumatic events she suffered in the last two years be only temporary baggage? She may have recovered. Nobody can say exactly when a person will be healed, only the person themselves, on the day they feel better. People do heal from past traumas in some cases. We agreed to make a date in the coming days.
The scare of my family member being admitted to the hospital quickly turned to joy as the condition turned out to be minor and the family member was released the next day. I texted Olivia and suggested we go out. Olivia suggested we go out for hot chocolate.
I did not remember Olivia’s complete address, and I texted her on the freeway for the correct exit, but I got no reply. It was easier than I thought and I managed to find it. Once parked at her building, I texted her for the apartment number. I walked up to her apartment and rang the doorbell, and was greeted by her teenage daughter. Then I saw Olivia. She was looking as beautiful as ever. Her green, olive-shaped eyes were stunning, they lighted up the room. We embraced and shared a sensuous kiss.
We were talking about going to dinner, but Olivia said her favorite movie was on. True to her name, it was a Wilde Western called McLintock! staring the Duke. As Miss. Wilde was putting on her boots, my intuition told me she wanted to watch it, so I suggested we stay home.
She said we would have to watch it in the bedroom because the television in the living room did not get that channel, so into her bedroom we went. From date one at her apartment to the bedroom on date two – boy, this man is quick! Not so fast, Kemosabe, it’s only a second date. Even people who are not waiting for marriage don’t usually make love until the third date – realistically, not until the fifth or sixth date, so don’t get too excited yet, heavy-breather!
‘Twas the night before Christmas eve, and not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. The house was all decorated for Christmas with a beautiful Christmas tree and decorations adorning the room. I asked her which side of the bed was hers, and I she told me the driver’s side, so I got into the passenger seat (driver’s side – now that sounds suggestive!). We snuggled into bed together and turned on the movie.
Olivia popped a TV dinner into the microwave. I’m such a cheap date! Olivia likes movies with strong, good, hero-type men like Squint Eastwood. I remember flirting with her in our early conversations, and threatening to spank her. She said, “later!” Even though Olivia is a witty woman, she has a submissive side. Some say men are simple and women are complicated, but that’s not exactly true. Women may be a little complex, but they are not confusing, if you know what to do and say. The ways of love are a little complicated, but can be learned.
While we were enjoying the movie, I put my hand on her knee at one point, and she said, “Awe!” If they are not pulling away, it’s a good sign. Her youngest son was away with his dad. When baby is away, mamma will play. She wanted him to stay with dad, but baby bear wanted to come home to see his mommy. A little while later, it was three wittle bears in bed together. Can you say Instant family? Isn’t that cute?
It was another Norman Rockwell date. Mamma bear, papa bear, and baby bear were snuggled together in bed for a long winter movie. Three women were spanked in the movie. Can you say Fifty Shades of Grey? It’s disgusting but I like to watch!
Olivia said she did not mind if I fell asleep in her bed. After the movie, Olivia was getting sleepy and wanted to take a nap. Not wanting to wear-out my welcome, I told her I’d go home and let her get some rest. Miss. Wilde West escorted me to the door. Since we had been talking now for a few months, and this was not our first rodeo, I let it all hang out on the kiss goodnight just like I did with Uma Thurman. I started at the top, her lips, and worked my way down with sweet kisses, on her cheek and down to her collarbone and back up to her lips. It was a passionate, sensuous, around-the-world kiss. Now we are cooking with Crisco!
This is an interesting, edjumicated woman, she has many layers. Olivia is dripping with sex appeal. My senses tell me that Olivia is a very sweet, yet troubled woman. How troubled remains to be seen. Her childhood was good. A person’s formative years are very important, they are what molds us into the adults we become. Her emotional baggage might not be deep-seeded.
However, because I mentioned a family member with health problems, this may have just been a sympathy date. Women who are ready are consistent in their actions, and sometimes Olivia does not reply to texts, and she has just begun initiating texts to me.
This would be a good place for circular dating, sometimes called multi-dating. Until a relationship is established, circular dating can help ease the pain of rejection when you have another date to fall back on. Also, it can save time. However, with online dating, a person with decent pictures and a profile can begin meeting new people very quickly, so multi-dating could be
passé.
I’ll be taking things very slow with Olivia. Based on her prior behavior, I can’t trust that Olivia is ready for love yet. I can’t even be sure I’m the one for her. We’ll see if her good attitude holds long enough for us to establish a serious relationship. Will there be a third date? Only time will tell. Stay tuned for more episodes of the ongoing soap opera, As the Stomach Turns!
