A few years ago when I was single, I met a nice Colombian woman, Colombiana. As always, names have been changed to protect the naughty ones! We had a few dates. On that last date, at dinner, she explained that my smoking was a turnoff (I quit smoking sometime later). However, I was not listening, I was too clouded by my own love level toward her.
In Fifty Shades of Grey form, back at her home on her couch, we were somewhat intimate. Yet, the next day, she sent me an Email with the most dreaded words a man could ever hear in dating – she wrote, “Let’s be just friends”. Then, I wrote back with words no woman wants to hear – I wrote, “I don’t want to be friends. You like potato and I like potahto, you like tomato and I like tomahto, let’s call the whole thing off!”
I could not see myself in a relationship of unrequited love, where I would want to kiss the woman but she would not want to kiss me. It was a classic mismatch. Sometimes people can be friends, and sometimes they can’t – that’s just the way it ’tis.
Fast-forward to one week ago. I spotted Colombiana on the dating site. Within minutes, she sent me a nice message. We exchanged a few messages, and her last one included her telephone number with the words, “Let’s reconnect again.”
Against my better judgement, I told her I’d call her. Usually, unlike what you see in the movies, you get one chance per lifetime with a woman, there is no second shot. However, I had nothing else going in the romance department. My relationship with Olivia was stalled. In fact, it never got off the ground. Like Bones from Star Trek would say, “He’s dead Jim!” I figured I’d make a dinner friend, if nothing else, and anything else would be a bonus. Colombiana is an artist and an empath, and has a wonderful, sweet, innocence about her.
I texted Colombiana a few days later and we shared some banter. A few days later, I texted her again and asked for either a Saturday or Sunday date. She said she already had an invitation for Saturday night, but was free Sunday, so that became our big date night.
On Sunday afternoon, I asked her for the address to her condominium, and she gave it to me without hesitation. I had hurt my back and was not feeling well, but I still have to eat three meals a day, so why not go to dinner with a beautiful woman? As long as there is no bungee jumping involved, it’s okay! Besides, would a sane man ever break a date?
Around date time, I went into the Batcave and fired up the Batilliac for another romp in never-never land. Precisely at date time, six-thirty on the nose, I texted Colombiana and told her I was lost! Colombiana promised to stay on the line and guide me into her arms. I told her I’d put my Bat-lights on so she could see me coming in the foggy nighttime mist.
Coming around the corner, I could see Colombiana waving to me in the dead of night. I proudly stepped out of my Batillac and greeted her with a warm hug. She was in a cute, basic black dress, dressed to kill. She invited me into her Catwoman cave where I met her cat, and her mentally challenged teenage son (a red flag). I made a little baby talk with the cat, as all good souls do. Of course Catwoman had a cat, that’s why we call them crazy-seven-cat ladies!
Since Colombiana bought a new car this week, I assumed we would be taking her car. I was right, she was excited to drive her new car, and off we went to Bonefish Grill for a relaxing dinner, with Colombiana at the helm.
We had a nice chat at dinner. Colombiana’s art business was booming, and she exclaimed she bought the car to make a better impression on clients. With her old car, she would park a block away so that they would not see it! Since Colombiana claims to be non-religious, I asked if she minded if I said grace before dinner. True to her positive, easy-going nature, she liked that idea and even joined me in prayer.
Her positive nature is a great thing. Most people have no idea how important positive-thinking and prayer is. In fact, when it comes to love and relationships, a good attitude is required attribute of a good catch. On the dating sites, you see many undesirables, many people with frowning faces, and this is a red flag. There are reasons some people are single. Not everyone is the catch of the day or the pick of the litter! If you have a smile on your face, you probably have a smile on your heart. Also, positive thinking opens up opportunities; negative thinking tends to stop people in their tracks, but if you think positive, you’ll be thinking of ways to accomplish things. It’s not rocket science.
Colombiana likes motivational seminars, and she was telling me about the latest seminar she is involved in, one regarding intuition. This piqued my interest and she mentioned a day I might join her next week. Motivational classes and seminars are like religion for those who have no religion, and that’s okay.
Colombiana has two daughters, and she told me one is moving to Texas with her husband. We also talked about our exes. She had a three year relationship with a man who later in the relationship, became an alcoholic, and also exhibited some anger management issues. They broke off their relationship about a month ago.
Also, I learned that the invitation she had for Saturday was from a girlfriend, they had a girls’ night out at an art fair. At least it was not a date with another man.
At the end of dinner, she offered to split the bill, but I said I’d take care of it. I asked the waiter for a doggie bag. Colombiana helped me put my leftovers in the containers and wrapped everything up so it would not spill. She’s so nice-nice!
We drove back to her condominium and Colombiana suggested I come over and watch a movie sometime with her. You heard that correctly, Colombiana asked for an intimate evening, she moves fast!
She did not invite me into her Catwoman cave, so I gave her the token goodbye hug. Due to my sore back, I really did not care about kissing her, I was not in the mood. I’m not even sure if she wanted a kiss or not, my mind was too clouded with pain to notice. She apologized for dropping me two years ago. Colombiana said that was not very nice. A lot of not-so-nice women would never apologize for dropping a man, because pop-psychology tells us men have no feelings! This was a nice thing for her to say.
Will there be another date with the infamous Colombiana? Will we be just friends, or will there be a Fifty Shades of Grey date story in my future? To find out, tune in next week at the same Bat time, to the same Bat channel!
