Maggie Fitzgerald (as always, names have been changed to protect the guilty!) showed up in my “Meet Me” section on the dating site. This first move by her indicated that she liked my picture. Attraction is the name of the game. Nothing starts until you at least meet a person’s physical attraction bar.
As I perused her profile, I surmised that she might be wealthy, as she was a licensed pilot and listed “investments” as her Profession. I mean, all I have is a license to drive a car, and a license to date – as far as you know!
I sent Maggie a message asking her where she was from. It took her three weeks to reply. It seems she was on vacation, visiting her two year old grandson and family in her home country, Canada. She gave me her phone number in her reply, and I called her the next night. We had a nice phone conversation, she was bubbly. I suggested we meet at a restaurant, but told her my car was in the shop, so if she wanted to meet soon, we would need to meet closer to me. There is a Flanigan’s restaurant within walking distance from my home. Surprisingly, she said she did not have money for gas, and wanted to wait until I got my car back from the mechanic so we could meet in the middle. Now, she only lives about fifteen miles from me, so for her to come to me is only an extra seven miles. Exsquezze me, are you serious? This was red flag number one.
Surprisingly, she made a first move the next day and called me! She changed her tune and decided to meet me in my neck of the woods after all. Perhaps I give good phone.
We met for dinner at Flannigan’s. I was happily surprised when she walked through the front door. Maggie had long, platinum-blond hair, wore a beautiful dress, high heels, and was in shape. She looked very pretty. We got a table and never stopped talking – she even said we laugh at the same time. She’s definitely attracted to me.
She was born in Canada and has lived in Florida for thirty years. She has owned her own businesses for most of her life, including a trucking company, where she also drove a Semi. She was also a fireman. She also likes Scuba Diving.
It appears she is involved with Real Estate investments (She may also own a painting company). At dinner, she told me an incredible story about how she is suing a corrupt judge over a land deal, and it’s going to the supreme court (State supreme court?)! When she was telling me this story, it sounded like something right out of the old television soap opera Dallas. It sure sounds cray-cray, doesn’t it? Do you know the difference between eccentric people and crazy peeps? – One is rich, the other is poor! So, as loony as her story sounds, it could really be true. Yet, the last time I heard a story like this from a woman on a first date, the women had emotional issues and owned a therapy dog. One thing is for sure, you’ll never get bored when you date crazy people!
Another interesting thing is, she’s separated. What this really means is, she is a married woman! Now, at this point, you are probably saying to yourself, “Is this guy nuts? Well, here is the deal on that. Sure, it’s often the case that people who are still married are not yet over their spouse, and are likely to be on the rebound, not ready to fall in love with a new person yet. It’s generally thought that separated people are a bad risk. The risk is, since their heart is not really in it, there is a high chance they will break your heart when they sit up in bed months into the relationship and exclaim, “I don’t love you, I don’t think I ever did (has this ever happened to you?). That could really feel like a baseball bat to the stomach, and it’s gonna leave a mark.
However, the fact is, there are so many single people on the rebound out there, that separated people really aren’t much more of a risk than singles these days. You have to watch for flaky behavior from almost everyone. There is also a formula for estimating how long a person will be on the rebound. Married or divorced, people need a certain amount of time for their heart to grieve. Yet, as you’ll soon see, this might not be an issue in this case.
Maggie was married for seventeen years, her husband left her in December, ten months ago. Usually people marry for the right reason, love. Love is the glue that holds a couple together, it’s the tie that binds. Relationships are work, and love is the payment for that work. Without payment, people don’t work well, or tend to quit their jobs. So, the relationships tend to be poor in those cases or the couple gets divorced.
This marriage was not for love. Maggie and her husband were friends, and wanted to adopt a little boy, so that’s the real reason they got married. That means it was an arrangement. As a matter of fact, she said the lovemaking stopped right after they got married. When people have another agenda besides twoo wuv, this often happens, folks. Some of you married and divorced people out there know exactly what I mean, you’ve experienced it.
Incidentally, she said that she had a couple of lovers during the marriage. Was it an open Marriage, did her husband know?
The final nail in the coffin of the faux marriage? She said her husband switched teams and wanted to date other men. I asked Maggie if she had ever heard of the support group Straight Spouse Network, and she had not. Obviously, she’s not too broken up about the whole deal. In fact, Maggie claims she never loved him to begin with. So, based on the circumstances, since it was an arrangement and Maggie was never in love, this suggests she’s not on the rebound. Still, if we do continue to date (time will tell, you have to take dating one day, one date, at a time), I’ll sleep with one eye open, thank you very much.
You might ask, “Why would somebody stay in an unfulfilled marriage for so long? Humans are creatures of comfort, and will often live a life of quiet desperation instead of risking change. Even though they are not happy, they will often accept complacency instead of facing the fear of the unknown which accompanies change.
Ironically, change is part of life. Things will always change – if not by your hand, by someone else’s. When dealing with romantic relationships, most things don’t happen by themselves, somebody makes them happen.
When I suggested she come to my city to meet, I told her I would buy dinner. She made no effort to pay, and so I payed for our meals. Our dinner lasted one-and-a-half hours, and she was the one who suggested when it was time to leave.
Now for the grand finale. I told you about some of the things she’s done in her life, but I’ve saved the best for last. Maggie is not just in shape, she’s a former athlete. You see, one of her most interesting careers was as a professional woman’s boxer! That’s right folks, Maggie’s hands are lethal weapons! I’ve dated professional athletes before, including a professional woman’s tour golfer, and an Olympic track star tryout. The runner had magnificent leg development – ya think?
Before we left, she offered to drive me home. Being the gentleman that I am, I declined. Yet, she insisted, and I don’t like to argue over petty things. “I’m a lover, not a fighter” – who said that? Was it the younger, black Micheal Jackson, or the older, white one? Away we went, into the night in her pearl white Jew Canoe. So, after only meeting me for ninety minutes, she let me into her car. That might be risky for the average woman, but not for a professional boxer! She could whip my little boo-boo with one hand tied behind her back! Could Maggie Fitzgerald be skeered of me? – No way Jose!
When we arrived at my house, we both said at the same time, “We’ll talk soon”. Then I leaned over and kissed her square on the lips. The kissing coffee date bandit strikes again!
One thing is for sure, you certainly can meet some interesting peeps when dating, including my Million Dollar Baby.
