Q.A reader writes, “I participated in an interesting conversation in which a woman said that she’d only marry (and seriously date) a guy who makes more than her. She wouldn’t even consider doing otherwise. This obviously severely limits her options but she insisted that she wouldn’t settle.
This upset me. Someone like that will probably want to be taken care of and spoiled and all that. Classic gold digger. She said it wouldn’t matter if he made a lot more than her or just a little more, but it had to be more. Why are some women like this?”
A.There is a new breed of prostitutes in town, and they are monsters. These are the prostitutes of marriage. You can go on the Internet to an online dating service any day of the week and scan the profiles and see the high money requirements of countless women.
We live in a split-income society where both men and woman compete for the same jobs. Men are no longer the main provider, it’s just not reality. This has created a lower per-person income because of natural supply and demand forces in the workforce. More competition for jobs means employers have more options and can lower salaries. Where the middle class was once achievable on average with just a man’s salary alone, today, that’s not the case. Oftentimes in life, when we want to get something, we must give something up to get it. This is what has happened with the women’s movement. They gained freedom at the expense of being expected to support themselves and contribute to the family financially in most cases. The standard is now that both men and women work. Like it or not, this is the way it is.
Furthermore, the man being the sole or main provider does not impact role models, never did… the man can still act like the protector, and be a gentleman. Additionally, a good woman can still respect a man that makes less than herself, and a man can still respect himself. They can respect based on the person he/she is. The respect necessary for love to flourish in a marriage is not bound by money. Again, providing has no real impact on true romantic role models. It’s not how much money that determines who a man is, but rather what he does, and how he treats others. In other words, the relationship skills make the man.
Even if the man is the sole bread-winner, the relationship is still going to require work. A happy and worthwhile relationship requires love as the main motivating force to keep them together in the long run. Love requires the work of relating to stay at high levels, and the love she feels for a man in a healthy relationship is the payment for that work. The woman who marries for money instead of love is going to quickly discover that money is not a good substitute for love, and she is going to want to eventually quit the relationship when it starts to feel like a burden. In the case of relationships, quitting the job means divorce. As a matter of fact, she will become a real life prostitute when she leaves the man but gets to keep his money in the divorce. On the other hand, if she does not want to leave, she will simply make the man’s life miserable with her stone cold attitude; it will be a living nightmare for the man. Either way, it’s no good. It’s harder for a materialistic woman to find love and happiness than it is to be reincarnated. If she is not happy, she is not going to be any fun, ever.
There are good girls, and then there are bad girls. In this case, the bad girls we are talking about are the gold digging prostitutes of marriage. Just because she is beautiful and breathing does not mean she is good relationship material. There are only two things in life a man should fear, fear itself, and a beautiful woman.
Don’t tell them how much you make until they are crazy about you. If you are rich, keep that Porsche in the garage and drive that clean, young-looking little white pick up truck on the date instead! You need to know if she just likes you for your money, or likes you for you. If she likes money, tell her to go marry a bank, I hear they give good rates! Never settle for anything less than a woman whom is not afraid to work. The definition of a women whom is good relationship material is one whom is a great helper, not someone who wants to help herself to your money.
There is no amount of money in the world that can match the dividends of love. Women deeply in love with their men and not just their bread do it better, and you only need one of those. In fact, good women in love will even work for food. Do you smell what I’m cooking?