I started talking with Paula Abdul on one of the popular dating sites. As always, names have been changed to protect the guilty! She had an excellent profile…. she sounds like a sane, normal, nice Christian woman. She even mentioned in her profile that she craves banter, as most good women do. Like the Cyndi Lauper song says, Girls Just Want to Have Fun.
On our second day of correspondence, Before I could even ask, she asked me for my phone number. Wow, incoming! I was just complaining to my featured columnist and number one wing woman Jade Ferguson who looks like Xena The Warrior Princess, how I had recently asked a couple of women for their numbers on the second day of messaging and they turned me down. Yet, here is a woman whom I did not even have to ask, she asked me.
She texted me the next day, and I suggested I call her at eight-forty-five, and she remarked, “That’s kinda specific”. She countered with a time of eight-fifty-two, and I thought she was just being factitious! She actually did call me at that time – it turns out that was how long it took her to take a shower! We had a nice chat for an hour, and set a first meet at Longhorn restaurant. I was surprised on the date when she remarked that it was a short phone call. Short to me, and more appropriate, would be ten minutes. Men should call to make a date. In contrast, women often use the telephone to weed out men.
Things went uncharacteristically wrong on my part. On the night of the date, I passed out after lunch, and slept too long. It also took me longer than expected to get ready. By the time I was in the Batallac and ready to drive to our meeting place, I should have been there already. I texted her that I was running ten minutes late. Then, I had to stop at the ATM. On most days, I can usually go right through, but one of the ATM’s was out of order, and there was a line at the the other drive through ATM, so I went inside the bank thinking it would be quicker. Yet, I was foiled again! There was a long line inside the bank, and a lady was having trouble with the ATM machine. I think I could have had a child in the time she was spending at the machine! Disgusted and running late, I decided to walk across the street and use another ATM at a Wally World. Finally ready to go, I took off at warp speed in my Jew canoe to rendezvous with my date for the evening. I sent her some progress report texts along the way. In reply, she sent me a funny meme of a woman with her mouth hanging open!
Paula took the initiative and got us a table. When we met, I gave her the token hug. She had a beautiful face that resembled Paula Abdul to a tee. By the time I sat down at the table with her, I knew that I was attracted to her. Unfortunately, it’s not love at first sight, because she was not in shape. I’m concerned about her health. So, I have some attraction for her, but not a high level of attraction. This might be okay. Looks fade with time, but personality is forever, and most important. In the long run, it’s a woman’s personality that is most important, and what a man has to live with. A beautiful woman gets ugly quick if she’s a Drewish princess.
From our long talk on the phone, she learned that I was a relationship writer, and that prompted a lot of discussion about Love and Disorderly Conduct. She was married for twelve years, has three children, two still living at home. She’s been divorced for eight years, and had a few date stories to tell…… the man in a band that she had a drink with, who, on that first night they met, shared an outlandish fetish of wanting a golden shower! Kids, cover your ears! She also mentioned the man she dated for six months who she bought tickets to a play for, and he stood her up – then he bought her flowers the next day to make up for it. Also, there was the man she met once, who said that twenty-five minutes was to far to go for a relationship…….. yet, he called back two weeks later to propose a swinger relationship. It’s hard to find a gentleman these days! Yet, I must tell you ladies, there are good men out there. Dating is like searching for a needle in a haystack, but you only need one good one.
A huge indicator of Paulas’ attraction for me was the fact that she touched me several times on the date.
I apologized for being late. She did not seem too rattled by my late showing, I think she just likes me too much, which is oh so right. We enjoyed lots of conversation and banter and this date was a marathon, we stayed at Longhorns for four hours, something I almost never do. Normally, my skinny butt starts hurting from sitting after an hour and a half. This is a very good sign, obviously I liked her. However, I was surprised when she categorized me as serious……. sometimes, I get so silly on dates, I run the risk of getting kicked out of places! You just can’t take me anywhere! As I alluded to earlier, although I liked her and could talk to her for hours and we would never run out of things to say, my love level was not super high, probably because she was out of shape. However, that Paula Abdul face that she has is very kissable. Will there be a kiss at the end of this date?
I was also impressed with her positive mindset, she has a very good attitude. Incidentally, she’s a physical therapist.
After our long four hour dinner which seemed to pass way too quickly, we took a stroll around he mall, as I wanted to see an old restaurant in the area. I finally escorted Paula to her soccer-mom vehicle, and before we parted our separate ways to go home for the evening, I gave her the token goodbye hug. Still, that was not enough for me…… I went back for a second hug, and this time, I gave Paula Abdul a peck on her beautiful bee-stung lips! It was good for me! Was it good for you?
After I returned home, Paula texted me, thanking me for the date. This is a very strong signal that another date is a good possibility. This was my very first kiss since being single, a very good sign that I am not on the rebound, and that love is in the air.
