I originally talked to JLo in February on Match.com. As always, names have been withheld to protect the guilty! She had a sensational professionally written profile and pictures, one of the best I’ve seen. She suggested we go to Email, and I immediately recognized this as a signature move, the 2-2-2 rule, from the teachings of another relationship writer and coach, Evan Marc Katz. Of course I asked JLo about this, and she playfully admitted she’d been busted, and got the idea from Evan’s book. With some more research, I found out that Evan was coaching and putting up videos of JLo’s progress on his blog! Not only that, I was also mentioned in a couple of the accompanying articles! I’m the man she added to favorites, the one who playfully busted her on using Evan’s 2-2-2 rule, and the Valentine’s day man, you betcha! That’s right folks, Jim Carrey’s dating life has gone global!
Of course, moi, yours truly, is also a dating coach – as far as you know! So here we have a dating coach coaching a dating coach who is dating a dating coach. Are you you still with me?! Can Jim Carrey, my alter-ego, hang with Evan’s star pupil? You betcha! All the nice girls swoon for Jim Carrey, because good girls believe in love. The true nature of love is playful and fun, just like Jim Carrey is. Wanna take a little ride?
In February, after two email exchanges, Following Evan’s rules, I suggested we talk on the phone and I asked her for her number. We had a nice conversation on the phone. She’s From Purto Rico, has been in the States for twenty years, and was married to a man in Chicago for Fourteen years. JLo is a Blackjack dealer, and an aspiring relationship coach. As you will soon see, she would make a great relationship coach, she’s on the right track. If she could teach other women to be half as good as herself, we would have a lot of very happy men in relationships and marriages out there!
We talked about having a date on Valentine’s day, but that was ten days away, and she was leaving for Purto Rico this weekend to visit her mother. Unfortunately, we lost touch, and never contacted each other to finalize the time, so the date never materialized. Evan was correct when he remarked about this failed date as loosing momentum. The following week, while JLo was away, the cat would play. I started dating another woman.
In the following month, I would go on to have eight dates between two different women. One turned out to be on the rebound, and the other promised to call at one point but I never heard from her again.
So a month later, I found myself back on Match.com. I took another look at JLo’s profile. Well, you know what they say, curiosity killed the cat! JLo must have seen my profile come up on her Viewed Me list, she sent me a flirty message, and we started to talk again, and eventually set a date for Saturday night.
On Saturday night, on my way to meet JLo, I texted her, “On my way to meet a super lady!” She replied with a smiley, “I’m on my way 2! Exciting!” These are the upbeat and fun texts you like to see. When I arrived at our super date local, TGI Friday’s restaurant, I gave the hostess my name and reserved a table. As I walked back toward the front doors, I spotted JLo for the first time. She had that classic voluptuous body characterized by Spanish descent. I rushed outside to greet her, we hugged, and I held the door open for her. Always the perfect gentleman, you betcha! She was very attractive, and looks very young.
She suggested we sit at the bar, and that’s a good location, better than a table, because the chairs can be moved closer. The closer she is to the man, the easier it is for her to show her love level by touching him. Watch those roaming hands, incoming! We shared some laughs and smiles, and she did touch me several times during dinner. She’s attracted to me! Talk is cheap, but actions scream. She made me extremely comfortable from the very beginning on this date. Most men don’t know it, but the number one need they have in a relationship is to be comfortable. Can you smell the coffee? This is not your run-of-the-mill coffee date.
We shared candid conversation about relationships, and her wisdom really shined through. We agreed on many topics, and even found ourselves finishing each other’s sentence at one point. She offered to help pay for dinner, but I politely refused… there is no way I’m letting Evan’s girl pay on the first date, he’s like the John Gotti of dating, I don’t wan’t to get on his bad side!
We went for an after-dinner walk, hand-in-hand (awe, isn’t that cute!) and at one point, I gently put my hands on her to coax her to the inside of the sidewalk, away from the street. She said she thought that was only a Purto Rican tradition, but being a gentleman is a universal language. We were walking toward the movie theater, and started talking about what movies were playing, and decided to see a movie, on the spur of the moment – or so she thought. She was surprised to learn that I already had movie times programmed into my phone. Rack up another point for Jim Carrey. Women operate on a point system. People make hundreds of decisions a day, and part of romance for a woman is when the man relieves them of this day-to-day burden, and plans the date. Romance is planned spontaneity, and women love a man with a plan. Can I cook or can’t I? Now we are cookin’ with Crisco!
I got excited telling her about a new movie that was playing, a newly released version of Disney’s classic, Cinderella. I told her I thought it could be one of the most romantic movies of all time, and was surprised when she said she has to coach ladies that romance is not reality. She has a very down-to-earth side, there is great value in this.
There was another newer science fiction movie playing called Insurgent, and she said it was like the Matrix, which she loved. Since I love science fiction also, it was a good choice. While we were standing in line at the ticket box-office, I tried a new joke out on her, one destined to become a classic! In the animated movie Madagascar Three, the lovable Lemur falls in love with a lady bear. In the movie, he is on the bears back. I started rubbing JLo’s back and in an Indian accent, I said, “Oh, you have a very hairy back. I like that in a woman!” She roared at that one! At one point, I pointed to something in the opposite direction, and said, “What’s that”? While JLo was looking away from me, I quickly kissed her on the cheek, I stole a kiss! That Jim Carrey character gets away with murder, doesn’t he! She tried to take some bills out of her purse to pay for the movie, but was too slow, so I just payed for everything. Now, these movie theaters are as cold as ice, so I like to put my arm on my ladies’ leg in the theater to help keep myself warm. This can be dicey on a first date because many men are not always sure the woman likes him and is ready for affection. I usually tell men not to touch a woman before the first kiss and until she touches you first, and then to only respond half as much in order to avoid crossing boundaries. But because she had already touched me several times at dinner (my hand, shoulder, etc.), and we had hugged when we met and then held hands after dinner, putting my hand on her leg was appropriate here, and she responded in kind by holding my arm. Also, I had no agenda (Are you listening men?). Remember, her daddy is John Gotti! During the movie, she massaged my back.
Will there be a kiss at the end of the date? You just never can tell, can you?! After the movie, we held hands again as I walked her to her car, and I stopped ten feet from her vehicle. Playing hard to get doubles love level. We hugged, and I held JLo’s beautiful face in my hands and kissed her on the lips (be gentle now!)! Then I kissed her again just so she’d know that the first one was no accident!
I wished her a good night and as I was walking away, from a distance, I thought I heard her inquire about a second date, if we would meet again, or some other future contact, but I was already riding off into the sunset. Whatsamatter, you don’t like Squint Eastwood?! I did not catch the hint until later, when I was gone. Many men don’t get hints, they don’t use their intuition. I get hints but sometimes I’m slow. Don’t worry, I’ll call JLo again, and we’ll make beautiful music together, and if fate allows, perhaps for a lifetime. Like My social worker friend and wing-woman the Kim Basinger look-a-like says, “When you know, you just know”!
JLo is wise beyond her years, and has the heart of a dove. All I could say to myself on my drive home, over-and-over again, was, “What a doll”! I could tell from this first date alone that she is an extraordinary woman, wifey material. I have to hand it to Evan, he sure can pick a winner!