A week after date number three with Meg Ryan, I received a text from her saying that she totaled her Fantasy Island car (As always, names have been changed to protect the guilty). She was okay, she walked away, thankfully. After her accident on Friday, she was really distraught and called me a couple of times, and I consoled her. After about twenty-four hours, Meg bounced back and seemed to be her happy-happy joy-joy self again.
On Saturday, Meg called me and I attempted to set a date with her for Sunday. Meg said “Maybe – I might go out with my girlfriend.” In response, I said, “That means ‘No’.” Then Meg says, “I said ‘Maybe’.” I must be one of the few men in history to bust a woman on her poor actions, but I don’t think she gets it. This is even worse than her shenanigans when trying to make a date with her last week. If she really liked me, why does she not want to be next to me in a time of crisis? This is a bad omen.
As I wrote at the beginning of this date story, Meg’s date making skills are suspect. She has trouble making dates. Why is this so much trouble? She can come to work on time, right? Could you see her treating her boss like this? Does she treat her friends like this? This is where people mess up.
It’s been five weeks since date one with Meg. At this point, she should be halfway in love with me, but I don’t see it. Where are the women who ask the man out, offer to cook him dinner, make out on the couch, or go into the bedroom, change cloths, and walk out into the living room in a negligee? Where are all the great women? I’ve seen some of those things before, but not lately.
On date three at dinner, Meg asked me why a relationship writer is single? It’s because I see a light at the end of the tunnel – unfortunately, the light is a train coming! There’s going to be trouble in paradise.
I feel the fantasy slipping away. If this relationship fizzles, at least Meg will respect a man – possibly for the first time.
A few days later, Meg sent me a picture of her snazzy new white fantasy island convertible she purchased. We continued to text each other throughout the week, and I must say, she is initiating a lot of the texts.
Meg took down her Halloween decorations late on Halloween night, in the dark. I thought this was peculiar – wouldn’t you wait until daylight to do that? Bipolar people will do odd things. They will start painting the living-room a different color at midnight.
On Thursday, I got a nice surprise – Meg asked me out on a date through text! This is the kind of thing I have been looking for. We made plans to take a walk on the beach and then a moonlight drive in her new fancy-shmancy convertible, down the beach to a seafood restaurant.
As Friday, our date night rolled around, I made a stop on the way at the flower shop and purchased two-dozen roses for Meg. I felt bad about her car accident, and she really loves the flowers. She texts me pictures of the flowers days after I give them to her, she is really appreciative.
When en-route to Meg’s house, she texted me, “Is the Drewish princess almost here?” I jokingly said to her once, “I wanna be the Drewish princess in the relationship!”
When I arrived at Meg’s house, We fawned over her new fantasy island convertible, and took off for a drive along the beach – it was too late for a walk on the beach, we were losing the daylight.
Meg put in a Fleetwood Mac disc and we were soon zipping along the beach in her new ride, jamming out to some tunes. Meg was very happy in her new fantasy island convertible. We encountered some traffic and I told her to go another way which only resulted in more traffic. We had to drive through a tunnel and I said, “Now it’s time to scream so we can hear the echo!”, so I screamed! It took us two hours to arrive at a downtown seafood restaurant.
I opened the restaurant door for Meg, and we requested a seat outside. I pulled a chair out for meg, but she sat down in the other chair. Well, I tried! Meg ordered Shrimp, and I ordered chicken pasta. I remembered to say grace this time.
We bantered and smiled a lot on this date. When the bill came, Meg offered to help, as she always does. She paid for the tip.
We decided to drive down to the docks and check out another restaurant on the intracoastal waterway where people feed the fish at dockside. They had underwater lighting, highlighting all the fish as they glided about in the deep blue sea like ghosts in the foggy night. I spotted a variety of fish, including Pompano, Catfish, big Mangrove Snappers, and a lone wolf under one of the docks, a Snook.
After leaving the restaurant, Meg whisked me away in her Drewish princess mobile. She was having a great time, zipping around like Jeff Gordon, and I was encouraging it. I’m such a bad man – lucky for her!
Once we arrived at her tropical home, she man-handled her white kitty again, much to my amusement. This woman likes it rough! Making sure to not wear out my welcome, I left early, as usual.
Meg walked me to my car. We kissed, embraced, and as usual, Meg gwabed me and held me captive in a bear hug for just too long which is oh so right. There was a car coming down the street, so I exclaimed, “Not in front of the tourists, I’m shy!” That Jim Carrey character, my alter-ego, is just too much!
Dating meg is going slow – other than our cute-cute kiss and holding at the beginning and ending of each date, Meg shows no other affection. This is not a good sign.
Most women, when they are in love or falling, relish affection, and will usually initiate it. That said, a small percentage of women are more interested in lovemaking, like men. Some say women trade lovemaking for affection. Is Meg just more interested in sex than affection, or are her feelings just not developing? The odds say it’s the latter. Needless to say, I’m very skeptical.
I’ll give it some more time – it takes two months for a woman to fall in love (men take seven weeks – men are so easy!). Yet, I think there should be a little more action and a little less talk at this point. I won’t be too surprised if I start circular dating soon. It’s looking like I might just have a friend here, and a friend is not love.
Fantasy Island Update
I have been complaining for weeks that something was wrong between Meg and I.
I did have some small amount of love level for her. Yet, because I’m empathic, I knew there was not much on her end. My little love level was not allowing me to see it; it took a couple of weeks for me to see through my own love level and to have clarity.
She just does not have any real feelings for me. I think she was getting frustrated, dating me, while going through the motions, but not getting the reward of actual feelings. Love takes work and the love that you feel for a partner is the reward (when and if you feel it). If there is no payment, people get frustrated. A few days after this date, Meg and I decided to just be friends.
You like potato and I like potahto. You like tomato and I like tomahto. Potato, potahto, tomato, tomahto, let’s call the whole thing off.
If you should ever visit that tropical splendor known as fantasy island, don’t be surprised if you catch a glimpse of Meg and I zipping along the golden beach in her white convertible fantasy island car, with two dozen roses in the back seat.
