I started talking to Mimi on Plenty of Fish, a popular dating site. As always, names have been changed to protect the guilty! I used to like the dating site Match, but Match has gone downhill lately. Once upon a time, a man could have a good profile on match and just contact the women who viewed his profile. However, Match now seems to be riddled with spammers.
Mimi was a Florida native like myself. She was a nice church lady which is the best kind of woman you can find. Not only do church ladies tend to be nice, but on top of that, they have morals. When it comes to finding a good partner in this tumultuous world, for the best success, they can’t be too nice. Looks fade with the ages but personality is forever.
Mimi and I hit it off right away, messaging on the dating site and then progressing to the phone, where we had many cute-cute wittle telephone dates. She was an assistant with a food company, and lived with her parents. She complained that she did not get along well with her mother, and spent lots of nights going to the movies or to church to get out of the house.
We enjoyed lots of bantering and sweet nothings over the telephone, and she liked to say prayers for me and us in text messages. Unfortunately, a red flag would come out during our conversations. The first flag was that she wanted to take things slow. This is usually the sign of somebody who is on the rebound or whom has excess emotional baggage. Sure enough, I would come to find out later that just like Olivia, she was a victim of domestic abuse.
I have no sympathy for wife beaters. Any man who lays their hand on a woman should be locked up and the key to the jail cell thrown away. Violence is not the way to handle an argument. You take a time-out, and separate from each other, for a time -minutes, hours, or whatever it takes, until you cool down, but we should never hit.
Like a glutton for punishment, I went on the date anyway (If I were paying closer attention to my intuition, I would have stayed home). We met at Longhorn Steakhouse. She was bubbly and sweet, but not terribly attractive. Yet, she was just too nice which is oh-so right.
We had great conversation and the date went way too long, two-and-a-half hours long. She likes Science Fiction movies like I do. It’s a good thing I remembered to say grace during dinner, this is a Christian woman who is active in the church. Sometimes I forget to say it!
I paid for dinner and she made no effort to help with the check. At least this suggests she likes me, and does not feel obligated to me, she’s happy to be there. She did touch me once during dinner, she held my hand when I said grace. Isn’t that cute-cute!
After I paid the check, we made our way to the front door and I held it open for her, just like a gentleman should! I was not sure if I was attracted to Mimi or not, until seeing her in the sunlight. Usually it goes the other way, when you see how they really look under the hot lights! Some girls look gross!
I escorted her to her car, we chatted a bit, and then the moment of truth came, one of the biggest moves in dating -I went for the first kiss! Mimi gwabbed me and hugged me, and as I looked her in the eyes, she turned her head and gave me her cheek to kiss instead of those luscious lips! Oh rats! She hugged me three times but those bee-stung lips of hers were shut like a steel trap in the middle of bear season. Oh well, another potential relationship goes down the tubes!
Even though the first kiss was foiled, Mimi continued to text me after the date. Realizing that she was not ready for a relationship, I was not really into her anymore at this point, and was ready to cut ties. However, I knew she was just too sweet to reject me openly and hurt me, so I continued to chat with her after the date.
I told her what not kissing after the date meant -that either I was not the one for her, or she had hangups. She also mentioned that after her experience of being around a blood doning bank, she had become a germaphobe. Can you guess what the punchline is here? Mimi is crazy.
There are three basic things needed for a person to be a good catch, relationship-wise. Number one, a person needs to be nice and positive, and Mimi definitely had this down, she was as nice as they come.
The second thing you need is attraction. Mimi grabbed me and hugged me three times at the end of the date, like she wanted to squeeze the stuffins out of poor wittle Jim Carrey. Don’t you feel sorry for him? That poor wittle man!
The third thing a person needs is sanity. Unfortunately, there are too many damaged people in this world, as my editor Jade Ferguson would say. If they are a few fries short of a McDonald’s Happy Meal, there’s going to be trouble in paradise. Some common problems are people who are control freaks (narcissists), people on the rebound, and people with excess emotional baggage, like our dear sweet Mimi.
The texting between Mimi and I eventually subsided, I doubt I’ll ever hear from her again. Not everyone is the catch of the day, or the pick of the litter! If things are going right, most women will kiss on the first date, a kiss is not sex. If you are not kissing, you are just wishing. Make sure you choose your friends and your lover wisely.
